Seeing what I see...

Do you ever look in the mirror and what you see is something completely different than what others do? I know I do... Unfortunately, what I see is something a lot less appealing than what others see. I feel unattractive... undeserving of the life and blessings around me. I really wish I didn't have to feel this way, but it's not easy for me. I feel ugly in my own skin. Looking in the mirror, I see disgust. I see fat. I see something that I wish I didnt. I know it's not good and I shouldn't, but sometimes I really dispise myself. I really don't know what to do to stop this. When he's home with me I feel great - when he's at work, I feel alone until he texts or calls me or comes home. I don't want to feel this way anymore...